Taking someone on a date is a task we got used to, due to society norms and romantic pop culture. Wake up: adult dating for sex positive singles is a new trend on the world scene.
The advantages of hookups over classical dating and relationships are well known. The question is, how to really adapt to a new culture, be modern, and set up a hookup date.
Keep it casual from the start
Sex chat with the purpose of getting laid can require pretty diplomatic skills. It depends on the app category how naughty you can get. Adult dating sites are openly erotic.
If you’re communicating with the real single woman and not with the webcam girl, keep it casual so she knows what to expect when you meet. Do not go too far too soon.
Some females are ok to have virtual sex in the video chat, for instance, but they might be shy to meet offline after. So, enjoy openness but better show your wildest side in real, not online.
Also, it’s a big no-no to give any hints on further hookup dates. By default, singles on adult apps meet for one-night-stands. Only if you two decide in future to meet for casual sex.
Go straight to the point
Long foreplay? Only if it’s your personal fetish, and it turns you on. For instance, if you’re a submissive single who admires his dominant partner and does everything to please them.
In all other cases, do not perform foreplay at all. Candlelight meal? Never! Make tea or coffee, bring some beer or wine for you two, but that is the maximum you should do.
Have a half of glass before sex, and you can finish the rest after. Do not forget for what you two have met tonight, as your casual counterpart remembers about that too.
It’s not exactly rude to initiate sex right at the door, especially if you discussed that earlier in the chat. It’s all fine, that is how the hookup date should look and feel.
Brief intercourse is preferable
If you’re a typical westerner or European, brief intercourse is most natural and organic to you. We usually learn to prolong the intercourse for our stable partners.
There’s no need for that while hookuping though. Be as brief as your body wishes. Having sex twice, both times quickly, is also ok if you two find each other really hot.
Another thing is so-called full hookups that last all night until the morning. It’s convenient after midnight parties or when you’re inviting a friend with benefits.
Turkish and Greek men, as well as some other nationalities, find it hard to have shorter intercourses. So, it depends on many different factors, just keep it as laconic as you can.
Have a script for kinky hookups
It’s understandable that kinky meetings take longer. If you two got acquainted on.
niche adult dating apps, you may share same fetishes and want to enjoy them together.
To not let this turn into an emotional attachment, prepare the script of your foreplay in advance.
You can discuss it with your casual partner or not, the main rule is that you follow the script when you meet, even if you liked your hookup more than expected. Keep the time frame.
This way, it will be easier for you to move forward and find new kinky personals after. Each affair should remain a one-night-stand, just one chapter of many others.
Do not reward your lover
Unless you meet on terms of sugar dating where all rewards are agreed beforehand, never reward your casual mate for sex. Equality is a norm in hookups culture, there’s no bonus system.
In classical dating, women take advantage of men by expecting and demanding gifts. Free hookups with young singles mean that folks meet purely for sex, regardless of their gender.
If you feel the need to give people smth for sleeping with you, psychologists say, it’s a disturbing sign. Maybe, you should raise your self-esteem before the meet for casual sex.
On another hand, one is giving false hope with his gifts and extra attention. Another person shouldn’t be misled about the purpose of your encounter and its actual length.
Top author of hookup advice articles and essays. Honourable invited guest of sex positivity events and pride festivals, LGBTQ+ rights ambassador. Personal coach on social activities, volunteering trainer, ecological activist. Sex abuse therapist, works with psychological traumas and victimized behaviour.